Welcome
back to another Presentation of the Perfectly Pretty Piraeus Promenade Press!
I’m your friendly local reporter, Sassafras Lily, here with a Solstice Update!
Our local (and excitable) Fruity Merchant Enterprises proprietors, one Apricot
and one Cantalope, have recently announced a HUUUGE sale. Apricot, known
somewhat for being parsimonious and unmovable in her bargaining positions (shhh),
has reluctantly agreed to give the dinar-laden citizens of Greece and other
lands a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity – a sale!! Here at the Perfectly Pretty
Piraeus Promenade Press, we don’t usually announce merchant sales but since this
is a first, and probably a last, we figured we should let the public know!
Freedom of speech and merchandising!!
“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Apricot was heard to say just
before this news release. “The shelving, the gift-wrapping… ohhhh dear.”
That’s right folks! The sale will begin on all orders placed, well, now! and
will continue up until December 15th, midnight. All Fruity Merchant goods, all
of them, are half off! Many have been discounted even further. Get your Solstice
shopping in today!
“Cantalope, what is your perspective on this sale?”
“Well Sassafras, I think it’s about time! Our goal is to help people pick out
the perfect Solstice gifts and let them do it cheaper and faster than our
competitors. Orders will be fulfilled within three business days of placement
(if the customer is available) or we’ll add in a 5% discount for the customer.”
“And please remember, existing customers are also eligible for our new discount
program where, after the 10th item is purchased, the customer is eligible for
one item free under 100 dinars or 5% off their entire next order. We keep track
of past purchases too, so the customer doesn’t even have to ask for this
discount, we’ll do it all for you!” says Cantalope.
With a growing twinkle in her eye, Apricot adds, “Know what? I’m even willing to
bargain with people! If you have a good reason you think an item should be sold
to you for less, or if you can come up with a good rhyme about it or dance a
little gig, I might just let it go for less. I’ll even consider trades for other
kinds of merchandise! This season, I’m going to be flexible!”
And with that, Apricot launched into a series of complicated acrobatic maneuvers
that landed her back on the second highest shelf of one of the whitewashed
warehouses she manages here in Piraeus. Who knew Fruit could flip and bounce??
That’s it for today folks! I’m Sassafras Lily, and I’m signing off to go look at
this nice crimson felt hat and matching gloves! Ahh…
Welcome
back to another Presentation of the Perfectly Pretty Piraeus Promenade Press!
I’m your friendly local reporter, Sassafras Lily, here with a Solstice Update!